barbara wilber • life coach

Pre-Flight Checklist

Barbara Wilber — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 07:40:01 +0000

Both my husband and my Dad are former pilots. I’ve flown with both of them and what I remember more than the butterflies in my stomach, the view from the air, or the severe ear pain I felt coming in for those landings, was the tedious almost snail-paced care they took just getting ready to taxi the plane to the runway. The getting ready part was no random collection of second thoughts or “I wonder if I left the gas on” distractions. The whole process of clearing themselves and their aircraft for flight was under the dictate of “The Preflight Checklist”.

Lately, in two different conversations with friends, we’ve discussed the problem of overwhelm. The kind of overwhelm that can be blinding to logical thought process or the ability to keep mental chaos under control. Certain situations like public speaking or relationship conflict can bring on intense mental disorganization, destabilizing us, calling into question our ability to take steps in the right direction. It reminds me of the instinct people have to steer their car in the opposite direction of a rear-end skid instead of in the same direction. And yes, I’ve done that – so you don’t have to!

Now let’s apply this notion of overwhelm to the upcoming New Year. A fresh 365 days lay before us all, fresh and clean, like new snow before the first footprints of the morning have appeared. You get to make the first marks on your year. But often, with so much promise before us, our resolutions, goals and aspirations can throttle (see the aircraft reference?) our ability to make and take the powerful actions we dream of taking. It all becomes a blur of obligation and self-doubt, with the expectation of failure darkening the corners of our vision for the new year. After all, we’ve been here before, different year, same doubts.

A pilot worth his salt doesn’t take flight without running down his pre-flight checklist. A careful survey of the readiness of his plane and himself ensures that the flight does not end in tragedy. Do you have a pre-flight checklist for your new year? If you were to create one, how might it change your ability to take flight in 2009?

Let’s all take some time over the holidays to make our own preflight checklist. See you up there!

My Congo Sister

Barbara Wilber — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:52:45 +0000

I finally received the packet I’ve been waiting for from Woman to Woman. It contains the name and information on my new “adopted” sister from the Democratic Republic of Congo. Her name is Jeannette Mbonekbe M’ndahambara. I look forward to corresponding with her and offering support in any way I can. She lives in a household of 11 people, has no electricity. Her aspirations are to receive and develop vocational skills to improve the economic conditions of her family, to become more active in family decision making, to gain self confidence, to develop friendships and support, to learn to read and write, and learn more about her rights. I pray she receives everything she asks for and becomes a true woman of wealth!

A Heinous Farewell

Barbara Wilber — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:21:06 +0000

I posted awhile back about my reaction to the 60 Minutes program that covered the atrocities against the women of Congo. I have since watched “The Greatest Silence; Rape in the Congo”, an HBO special and another documentary, Sand and Sorrow, focused on the same types of horrors being inflicted on the people of Darfur. At times I am unable to stand being in my own skin as I watch and listen. I can’t imagine the pain the survivors live with and the horror that the dead victims endured as they passed into eternity. What a heinous farewell to what should have been Abundant “Zoe” life that is the birthright of God’s children. Our enemy truly does roam as a lion seeking whom he may devour – and HEAD’S UP! He does more than roar – he rips flesh from bone and hope from the soul

As I said before, I was hoping to sponsor a dear Congo sister through Women For Women. I wish to do more than that and am thinking of something that brings more awareness and involves more of my brothers and sisters here, who are living a blessed life where our national “worries” center on the rising cost of a barrel of oil or a shortage of our favorite rice. Really?

Having said that I want to make confession to you. At times, and more often that I’d like, I feel absolutely nothing about this situation,. I feel flat and unmoved in my emotions. That has worried me. I put it before “Friend Jesus” this way, “How am I supposed to DO anything about this at all if my passion keeps dipping right when I need it to soar and fuel me into action??”

The reply? “It is a terrible problem, whether or not you feel anything about it at all! Do something! Anything! Find a better motivator than your own emotions.”

Breaking The Rules

Barbara Wilber — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 03:33:20 +0000

In my newsletter this month I put forth some questions about the rules we live by that we aren’t aware of and how they limit us or halt our forward movement. I am really looking forward to hearing about what your hidden rules are. Maybe by sharing them with others, we can help all of us get free of the tyranny of traditions that no longer serve us – we serve them. We are made for more than that! One of the hidden rules I’ve become aware is that if I am to serve my God in any way outside my home, that I need the permission of a pastor or other religious leader to do so. It has been frightening and exhilarating to think outside that confinement to the limitless possibilities our Eternal God has in store for ALL his beloved family – even the women! What are some of your hidden rules?

Community Conversation: Questions that give you Hives!

Barbara Wilber — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 03:40:58 +0000

Well we are back this month with a great topic to discuss. I hope that some of you will really search your hearts and share what you find. Our question comes from the February 08 Issue of my Newsletter: “What Question do you NOT want to be asked?” You can read the article for this month’s journaling questions – they were great thought expanders for this initial question. There really should be some kind of life changing shift for some folks. Will you tell us about yours? I will do the same in a later post.

Community Conversation: Change

Barbara Wilber — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 05:02:01 +0000

As mentioned in the January 2008 Issue of my newsletter, I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic of Change. If you click the link above and read the featured article for January, you’ll have the background to comment on this topic. Questions: What potential loss stands between you and a desired (or required) life change? What is the loss beneath that loss? Go ahead and leave your comments – we can all have a chat about this topic together.

Help Congo Rape Victims

Barbara Wilber — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 02:39:19 +0000

I am pasting this from the Women Helping Women website —

Today in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), people are still struggling after one of the deadliest wars in all history. Millions died and new conflicts threaten peace every day. Perhaps worse than the loss of life is the staggering numbers of human rights violations.

As the New York Times recently reported, women are raped, mutilated, kept as sex slaves then rejected by husbands, families and communities. They are left with nowhere to turn, no hope for the future.

I am so overwhelmed at this horrible situation for the women of the Congo. I plan on sponsoring a woman – seems like a drop in the bucket.

Great Book

Barbara Wilber — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 01:54:21 +0000

Deeply insightful on God’s call for our lives.

Willing

Barbara Wilber — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 05:16:43 +0000

So I must admit that often times I get out of my normal routine of reading the most important book in the world, The Bible. I get all of my instructions for living from that book. I get my Hope from that book. That book is alive, as if it is sitting on my desk, breathing in and out. That is a miracle book. And yet, I forget, I get busy, I get lazy, I go deaf, dumb and blind without noticing. I find myself, needing to be reading…. that book.

Unexpectedly, I have trouble opening the worn leather cover, touching the crinkling pages, reading the Words in Red, because of a falsehood that has settled on my mind, like dense fog on the coastline. The falsehood is that guilt will require me to pay some dues, perform some good deeds, work up some old-time-gospel-emotion — before I will be granted entrance once again into the realm where I may be comforted and instructed by the words in the book. So, I pray and pray and pray, hoping that God will somehow be buttered up enough, having heard my guilty confession, to help me. But in all of my blubbering, I hear something quietly spoken to my heart. “There is Life in my Words.” I deduce that I am being invited to shut up and read. I choose the Gospel of Matthew, chapter eight. A man with leprosy says to Jesus, “if you are willing, you can heal me”. And Jesus says, “I AM WILLING”. I think of those words all day. They are the words of a Lover that cannot be unsaid or forgotten. Three simple words have radically transformed my world today. I am willing too Jesus.

My imagination paints a picture of a gas station. I’ve waited way too long to refuel. I saw the little gas tank light go on and I ignored it. The gas gauge is below empty. But I was busy. So, sputtering on fumes, I roll up to the station and get out to face the pump. I begin to tell the pump how sorry I am that it’s been so long. I don’t deserve to have more gas. I am a bad gas manager. I read all the labels and signs on the pump, trying to find instructions about obtaining fuel for a car whose owner has neglected proper gassing habits. I find nothing. I hear nothing. The pump seems not to care – I wait for chastisement that does not come. I am in a predicament here…. I begin to do a little tap dance. Maybe performing will appease the cold, withholding gas pump.

This is, of course, a ridiculous little scenario and in no way am I comparing God with a filling station. But there is a lesson in it for me. It is the nature of a gas pump to give fuel. And while I do not mean to minimize God’s nature to that of a gas pump – it is His nature to fill us. And it is His nature to be willing. Of course – He grieves over us as we wander and squander. But it is not His nature to withhold what will give us power over sin and circumstances and self – what will give us Hope. Our enemy convinces us that we need to perform for God before He will hear us, before He will fill us again. My battered, misled heart is crushed by the quiet gentleness of His Words . . . “I Am Willing”.